somewhat normal girl

Worst Excuse EVER for not being able to go Christmas Shopping with your best friend?

Angel's. The excuse? Sunlight.

I did try to point out to Mr. Tight-With-A-Buck that this is:

a) Connor's first REAL Christmas (because how can you observe Christmas in a Hell Dimension?)
b) His own first Christmas ala Not Evil (ie, when he went seven shades of crazy and slept with a certain someone who will remain nameless)
c) 2008 - there is such a thing as, y'know, late night shopping. Not that Angel understands that.
d) The Festive Season (I don't know who's jingled Angel's balls but the guy's grumpier than a Gnarl Demon without food).

I may, of course, be overdosing on the whole Christmas Spirit at the office thing but since I'm the one who's maxing out my credit cards paying for this? Angel can deal.

So! Shopping. For which I got the pleasure of my favorite Heir, Connor. I figured that forewarned was forearmed, right? And told him that people indulging in Christmas Shopping tended to get a little... I don't know, nutty?

I still don't think he was prepared. Seeing me almost scratch that girl's eyes out for Fred's gift kinda put him off for life, I think, so Angel's gonna have to do something drastic to get him shopping for my gift.

I've been leaving hints lying around the office. Well, I say hints? What I really mean is issues of Cosmo, Vogue and any catalogues I can get my hands on with things circled in red and the word 'want' written beside them.

I'm nothing if not subtle.

I also don't think Connor will go Christmas Shopping again with me. Ever. Which means it pretty much falls back to Angel. Ha! Too bad, El Vampinator. Also? You're totally paying for the turkey. And cooking it.

My Thanksgiving attempt was a disaster... And for a guy who doesn't eat food? You sure cook it well.

It’s always kind of a quiet time ala Angel Investigations - the one night in the whole year that demons or whatever take off ‘cause they think it’s tacky.

I’ve never really understood that logic, if I’m honest. I’d be more grateful if they took another night off, y’know, like Christmas. Or - and I’m being totally selfish here - my birthday. (Nobody should have to save the world on their birthday, it’s just… Wrong.)

I mean, it’s Halloween for crap’s sake! The one night in the whole year they could blend in and-- I probably shouldn’t say that, huh? Being that I’ve probably just jinxed the whole thing for us.

Lorne’s throwing a Mass-Bash at Caritas, to which we are all invited… I think Angel’s going back and forth on that one, given the fact that Connor still can’t be around anything remotely demonish (not me, of course) without getting a serious case of The Growls.

I’ve tried explaining to him that Lorne is a friend - a good friend, who can provide us with alcohol and much needed relaxation when we need it (most of the time, anyway) - but he’s still kind of wary, y’know? Can’t blame the kid, I guess. He did grow up in a Hell Dimension and all.

And now he wants to visit Ireland. Don’t get me wrong, it looks pretty… And green (and if anyone happens to look and talk like Gerard Butler in that movie I watched the other week, I am SO there…) But Ireland? I’m still on trying to get him to an Amusement Park -- with actual fun -- and he wants to go to Ireland?

SO his father’s son, he is.

I’m trying to sweet-talk them both into going shopping for costumes. A necklace of ears does NOT make a costume!

Fearless.

To be without fear. To be brave or bold. Intrepid. To be calmly resolute in facing problems or dangers.

I'd like to say that was me. I'd like to be able to hold my hands up and say yeah, things don't scare me. But I think that's kind of a lie. Actually, that is kind of a lie. And what kind of person am I if I don't even admit that to myself?

I can hold my hands up with absolute certainty and say that few things scare me. I grew up on a Hellmouth, have my psyche invaded at will by debilitating visions and work for a vampire who used to be the worst mass murderer on the other side of the continent... So fear is not really a factor with me a lot of the time.

Unless you count the last eight months or so.

Throw me a vampire or an ick-monster and I am totally the girl to be with, handy with a broadsword thanks to training sessions with Angel. Hell, throw me an almost-possession by something that wanted to hijack my body and give birth to itself and, sure, I might quake a little but you can damn near guarantee I'm gonna come up swinging.

Take my friends family away from me and leave me with the uncertainty and the not-knowing? Then, I'm not fearless. Then, I'm not all about spanking my inner moppet and moving on.

I sort of touched on this with Angel when we had our 'talk' the other night. That is to say, I talked a lot - he listened. Kind of the Way of Us, I guess.

It was difficult, the not-knowing. Made for some pretty strained conversations between Fred and Gunn and I, where they decided that I should be moving on. And then I realized that for all I talked a good game, for all I assured them that Angel was coming back and we weren't going anywhere?

I honestly wasn't sure and that was when I realized that I wasn't fearless. That I was scared of him never coming back, of them never coming back. Of them being dead and me never knowing what had happened to them.

Of course, now that they're back? I'm not so scared any more. Fearless is a word I can root firmly in my vocabulary again and not be afraid that I'm gonna jinx us or whatever. Our little family is back and if it takes work? So be it.

That, I'm not afraid of.

A questionnaire. Because boredom is rife today. I'm looking at you, Angel.

01) Are you involved with anyone?: Nope. Not unless you count a ghost with a loofah as a someone. Groo left. And I'm not bitter about that at all.

( Where do you wish you were right now? )

Am I the only one who gets the feeling that the guy (or gal) from the prompt team has been watching a little too much 'Lost'? Yeah, that one with the polar bears. That would NEVER happen. You know which one I mean.

Okay, my list. In no particular order. Probably in order 'til you get to, like, four or something.

1. Angel. He'd have to avoid the sunshine like the plague but he'd be handy in a tight spot. Plus, I'm not in the habit of letting him out of my sight at the minute since he's just got back from a Hell dimension and all.

2. Connor. Kind of a package deal with Daddy dearest. I just gotta get used to the necklace of ears thing.

3. Fred & Gunn. What? I'm not cheating! They're totally a couple!

4. Our Fully Stocked Super Handy Weapons Cabinet. Again, I say what? If, by chance, there are polar bears on that island? Then I wanna be able to handle myself. And I don't think the whole glowing thing is done by sheer will alone.

5. My laptop. I'm not thinking that we'll have internet access or anything, but you never know.

6. My iPod. I can't live without my music.

7. Food. Because McGyver, I am not. And sure, Angel survived in a hell dimension for a few months years but how likely is it that he'll cook something I actually like if all we have are polar bears, the occasional rabbit and a few other examples of island wildlife? .... I rest my case.

8. Dennis - jesus, how could I forget my ghost? I'd have to have him possessing something else, of course but... It could work!

9. Moisturizer. Because even being stuck on an island is no excuse for wrinkles.

10. The person who asks these questions. Because when boredom is rife and Jewel Quest just isn't doing it for me any more? I'll have something to fall back on.

( Well, is that not just the most loaded question ever? )

-----

OOC:

Character: Cordelia Chase
Fandom: Angel the Series

"Kismet," said Fred suddenly, peering over the top of her reading glasses at Cordelia.

"Gesundheit," she answered, not looking up. She was searching the Demons, Demons, Demons database for a 'large and scaly thing' that they'd had a report on down near the docks and she was no closer to finding that than she was to finding Angel and it was pissing her off.

"It means fate."

Cordelia sighed, trying not to look annoyed at yet another oblique Pylea reference, and shook her head, "Okay. Fate. And you're saying this to me because..."

"Because things happen for a reason," Fred told her, ignoring the fact that Cordelia was wearing her squinky-face, yet again, "Even bad things."

Bad things. Cordelia knew all about the 'Bad Things' that Fred was referring to. There'd been so many those last few months, starting with Angel and Connor's disappearance, an almost-demon-posession and then ending in Groo leaving. All in all it'd left a perma-frown etched right there on her face and not one of them had been brave enough to broach the subject.

Until now.

"Why do people say that?" She wondered aloud, glancing Fred's way when the older girl looked up, "If it's bad, it happens for a reason - even if it's a completely sucky reason and you didn't want it to, but if it's good..." Cordelia trailed off. She was generally an upbeat kind of person - could highlight the good situation in any bad most of the time but this... There hadn't been a whole lot of good to speak of those last few months. "That's just a shitty way of saying that things have went ass end up but you have to deal anyway."

"Kismet." Fred said again. "It's... Y'know, destiny."

"You make your own destiny," said Cordelia, scowling, then wondered if she actually agreed with that. She used to. She believed she had with her whole demonize-me-already shtick until Skip had tried to have her body taken over by some big-ass demon who'd wanted to block out the sun. Now, she wasn't so sure.

Had Angel made his own destiny? Had all those years of trying to make up for what he'd done really led to this? Was that his destiny? To be lost in some hell dimension with his son? She swallowed, hard, remembering three summers ago when they'd sat in her old apartment and Wes had mentioned that his destiny had been to Shanshu. To become human.

Where'd that gone? More importantly, where had Angel gone? His son. Cordelia's stomach knotted as she thought of all the things Lorne had said about where they'd gone, where that portal had likely taken them. A whole bunch of scenarios and not one of them good.

"Cordy?"

She glanced up, "What?"

"You went all quiet on me." She did that a lot these days.

All of a sudden, she felt tired. "Okay, Fred, I'll bite... Kismet. What's your point?"

"I'm reading this," said Fred, holding up a book she was reading in some obscure language that Cordelia didn't recognize, "And it says that fate--or kismet--it's unavoidable. Predetermined."

Cordelia scowled, "Well, that's a lie. Look at how many prophecies we've thwarted and those were *airquote* unavoidable."

"I was just thinking, that's all. I used to believe in fate until I met you guys, but this book... They state pretty clearly that everything's mapped out for you from the minute you're born... You think that's right?"

"Sure," Cordelia nodded, "I was meant to grow up in the lap of luxury, lose all my money to Mr. IRS, fall on a rebar and then strike up working for a vampire where I'd be demonized shortly after my 20th birthday. That stuff's total hooey, Fred, can't you find something better to read?" She glanced pointedly at her Cosmo, hoping Fred might catch a little bit of fashion sense from somewhere.

Fred's throat worked and she looked down, "Wesley made notes in the margin, Cordy," she said quietly. "The Father will Kill the Son."

Cordelia's fingers stilled on the keyboard, bile rising in her throat. "Like I said," she told Fred firmly, "That stuff is a load of crap."

Okay, so I suck at these things. I guess we all know this. I'm way better at the whole 'talking about me' thing when it's in person, but on Fred's instructions I have to have an 'intro' and apparently Insanejournal is way cooler than that MySpace thing (as long as you're not posting pictures of, like, gay porn or something – again, I say what?).

Not that I know what that MySpace thing is but anyway...

So I'm Cordelia. Raving psychotic bitch to those who've crossed me (or witnessed a vision), Cordy to my friends. 25 year old budding actress who, at times when she's not getting fired, works for a vampire with a soul seeking redemption.

Like I said, better in person.

I live in LA, work as Office Manager for the aforementioned vampire... And right now, I'm on vacation. Mexico, baby! Sun, sand and se-- Okay, okay, geez!

:: Hiatus for Two Weeks ::

aka my filing system better still be in order when I get back, Wes.

Angel Investigations
'We Help the Helpless'
1481 Hyperion Avenue
Los Angeles
Telephone :: 555-0162


Angel Investigations is closed until further notice.


We're not accepting any new cases. Unless, y'know, they're world-ending or something. If you have any information on Angel or Connor (or how the world went ass end up while I was on vacation) you can contact me on my private line.